This impacted me in a way that I don't really know how to articulate. Many of my hurts and wounds are the kind that are quickly followed with, "but it wasn't that bad. At least you had a dad" or "that huge void of fatherly love, guidance and leadership from 10 years-old on wasn't that big of a deal."
I don't know how to reconcile two facts: 1) My dad was never present and 2) God is always present. I want to know Jesus the way you describe. Even when I do turn to the Word, I just can't get past … something.
How to turn to/find comfort in God seems to dodge my best efforts. Meditation dissolves. My best efforts all fall short (as we know they would.) I'm still looking for how Jesus will step into my inability to cling to Him. As Tozier says,
“O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, ‘Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away.’ Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long.”
Thank you for sharing your story but also adding the life advice we all need.
Thank you for reading and sharing some of your struggles. My dad abandoned us when I was 16, and it took until I was 52 to really experience god as my father, beyond my head. May the Lord give you all the grace you ask him for and more. It is indeed enough to want to want more of Him. Praying for you as I write this. Jason
Thank you for sharing, Jase. To use words here to describe the effect of what you have so authentically written would be inadequate. The one area I have continued to struggle with in the face of suffering is the overwhelming fatigue that exists in the reality that we must continue to work and live.
Hi Glenn. Some like you, face a level of loss that must push constantly into overwhleming fatigue. And perhaps within that is an identifiction with 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18. You carry in your body a suffering with Christ, that pulls you towards the day when you will sleep and be reunited.
Thank you for this invitational, vulnerable piece. Your story is heartbreaking, holy and hopeful. Your journey toward deepening peace continues to inspire others to have the courage to press into the deeper places found in Christ. Bless you for your willingness to share with us.
Thank you, Jason. It’s just what I needed this morning. Love you guys!
Thansk for reading Mike. Love you too and hope you are surviving.
This impacted me in a way that I don't really know how to articulate. Many of my hurts and wounds are the kind that are quickly followed with, "but it wasn't that bad. At least you had a dad" or "that huge void of fatherly love, guidance and leadership from 10 years-old on wasn't that big of a deal."
I don't know how to reconcile two facts: 1) My dad was never present and 2) God is always present. I want to know Jesus the way you describe. Even when I do turn to the Word, I just can't get past … something.
How to turn to/find comfort in God seems to dodge my best efforts. Meditation dissolves. My best efforts all fall short (as we know they would.) I'm still looking for how Jesus will step into my inability to cling to Him. As Tozier says,
“O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, ‘Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away.’ Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long.”
Thank you for sharing your story but also adding the life advice we all need.
Thank you for reading and sharing some of your struggles. My dad abandoned us when I was 16, and it took until I was 52 to really experience god as my father, beyond my head. May the Lord give you all the grace you ask him for and more. It is indeed enough to want to want more of Him. Praying for you as I write this. Jason
Thank you! "The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."
Thanks again, Jason. Appreciate you.
And I you, brother.
Thank you for sharing, Jase. To use words here to describe the effect of what you have so authentically written would be inadequate. The one area I have continued to struggle with in the face of suffering is the overwhelming fatigue that exists in the reality that we must continue to work and live.
Hi Glenn. Some like you, face a level of loss that must push constantly into overwhleming fatigue. And perhaps within that is an identifiction with 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18. You carry in your body a suffering with Christ, that pulls you towards the day when you will sleep and be reunited.
Oh Jason. Yes...! Thank you. Thank you for sharing this intimate story, finally, in the right time.
And thank you for reading and your feedback.
Thank you for this invitational, vulnerable piece. Your story is heartbreaking, holy and hopeful. Your journey toward deepening peace continues to inspire others to have the courage to press into the deeper places found in Christ. Bless you for your willingness to share with us.
Thank you, Jenn. The Lord has been good to me.
God bless you Jason.